ALZHEIMERS NEWS UPDATE: #...15

(INDEPENDENT…Dave Fost – Edmonton , AB. March 14/08) EMAIL: Hamptongates@hotmail.com

 

PRESENTATION YOUTH FORUM---MAKING THE CONNECTION

 

~ We are finding out that Alzheimers and varying forms of dementia are becoming prevalent as the population lives longer

 

~ More & more you are going to be faced with grandparents & the possibility of parents or relatives having the disease

 

~ There are a lot of meds in the pipeline due to exciting multi-faceted research, however, for those people you presently know who have the disease, don’t get overly excited. Just bank on what is available. In the meantime, I’m excited because my children and grandchildren WILL be able to cash in, in addition some for us also.  

 

~Due to the frustration of attempting processing, the brain confuses the mind.  Mood changes; the moments of reduced energy; withdrawn; less enthusiasm; giving up things

they liked.

 

TIPS for communicating with people who have dementia

 

TIP…1 Do not go up to them and ask if they know who you are.That is insulting. Of course they do. Maybe they don’t know, at that moment in time. Instead, try this…

”Hi Grandma, this is Mary”. (Unless, your name is George!)  

 

TIP…2 Keep your conversation light and simple. Depending on the progression of the disease, talk about things of which they can relate. “Grandpa, Aunt Rosie was telling me about when you were in school. (Remember, they can go well back in time and they love to tell their stories.) My dad could bore me, remembering the ‘olden days’. But that is OK. That is THEIR REALITY. But it becomes your heritage, which you will transfer to your children.

 Most people with the disease like to laugh. Being prepared with a few simple jokes can help you continue the conversation and keep the mood light.

 

TIP…3 NEVER ARGUE! It is irrelevant what is, or is not, as to the truth. It is important not to irritate the individual. What the person is thinking is reality to him/her at the time. Attempt to change the topic.

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TIP…4 Remember, as they go deeper into the disease, in their mind, their parents may still be alive. (Not really…but again, in their own mind at that moment)

 

One day specifically, I was visiting my parents. Dad was out and I was in the den. Mom was in the kitchen and decided to set the table as her ‘parents were coming to visit. Bottom line is…they had passed away many years ago.  It did not matter if she had set the floor…with the dishes! To her it was REALITY. One can take them off the table when she retired for the night.

 

The REALITY of the one with dementia will not likely be YOUR REALITY. That might tick you off. However, at that moment in time, does it really matter? At that moment it is about them. One day, it will not matter at all.

 

TIP…5 What happens, if they accuse you of stealing?Heaven forbid, it just might happen that you could be accused.  The bottom line here is to try to change the subject. Always remember, the disease has been changing your loved one, over time. He or she is not who they were.

   

Tip…6 In the earlier stage, the person with dementia may have trouble with money. For me, I suddenly realized I was having a problem with change. I am not able to give the correct change. I have been taking my change out of my pocket and in frustration giving it all to the clerk to do it for me. However, one way to reduce my stress is to always have a $5.00 bill in my pocket. For example: if my purchase comes to $1.57, I just give them $5.00 and they will give me back the change. When I get home I just give my wife the change and she replaces it with another $5.00.

I’m not stupid J .   

 

  TIP…7 It is important to focus on THEIR abilities. Card games? Favorite sport? Be creative as possible. It doesn’t matter if they can do the activity properly. For example: a friend, Glen, who I met at an Alzheimer’s group, comes over to play pool. We both have problems remembering to use the cue ball. So what if we use the eight ball to get the striped ball in the pocket!!! Of course, Glen and I can joke about it because we both have the disease. However, it is not cool for you to bring it up when you are playing. That can make a person with the disease feel uncomfortable. It’s not about getting the activity right, it’s all about having time together.

 

TIP…8 If you are visiting, a person with dementia try to plan ahead. Ask their caregiver what the person likes to do and how you can help. 

 

TIP 9… Tag team with a sibling, or someone else in the family, if at all possible. Depending on the stage of the disease it may be difficult to comfortably communicate with the person for a long time. By having someone to relieve you, will make your time with the person enjoyable for you as well. This way you won’t mind doing it again.

 

TIP…10 This is CRUCIAL . It is important to allow the person’s friends to be part of the process, in every way possible. Educate their friends as to what is happening. Be as open as possible. Never cover up the situation. Some caregivers will insulate them from their friends. Then they wonder, “What is wrong with my friends? They don’t visit”.

 

Why would they? They are out of the loop. Even today, it is important for me to keep my friends. Not to cover-up but to open up in advance. That is an incredible KEY . We are open to people who have many maladies. Why not the same with those with any form of dementia? Dementia has nothing to do with stupidity. Allow friends into the process.

 

Why is it more uncomfortable to visit one who has alzheimers than one with a disease such as cancer, among others? The bottom line is that it is more difficult to relate to one who has

problems with communication. The short circuiting in the brain takes away the very essence of who we are.

 

 

TIP…11 Insure he/her has a Safely Home Bracelet (Pamphlet) T

There Is No Way I Am Going to Wear a Wandering Bracelet. I’ve Never Seen a Bracelet Wandering Anywhere

 

TIP…12 If you are not comfortable with the person’s driving ability, do not talk to them about it. This should come from someone other than a family member or friend, if at all possible.

Their doctor would more likely be a good source. Losing their license is normally very hard and they will blame the family member or friend if they have their license taken away. I, personally, want to be proactive about this and have gone for an independent driving assessment. I do not want to drive over someone’s grandchild. Neither do I want to have someone drive over my grandchildren. I have done a pamphlet:

 

“Frustrated and Angry At the Possibility of Losing Your License?”

 

TIP…13 There are many useful websites with tips. After doing this from my own perspective, I then googled ‘Alzheimer Tips’. Here is one that can be extremely informative for you and your family. It is connected to Mayo clinic and CNN.

 

 

 

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/HO/00125.html

 

(Dave Fost…Let’s Talk About It! YOUTH FORUM: Making the connection: Calgary , AB., April 19, 2008 ) (copyright)

Email contact: Hamptongates@hotmail.com