Fun Poems

The Computer Swallowed Grandma

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me.

We do not stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing . NEVER Be The First To Get Old!

Cracked!

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?'

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'

'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

Anon

When I Was Young

When I was young and very slim, I seldom had a care
My skin was clear, my eyes were bright and glossy was my hair
I gorged myself on chocolate, my figure was fantastic
But now I have expanded and I'm held in by elastic

If it weren't for Marks and Spencer, I'd be twice this size
As I stand encased in Lycra from the neck down to the thighs
The crow's feet have all landed, there's lines around my mouth,
And bits of Me, that once were firm, are slowly drifting South

I am nearly always tired, now my children have left home
And so I stand in sorrow, by the breadbin, all alone
My doctor says my aches and pains have an underlying cause
And that all of this is normal. It' is called the Menopause

'How Wonderful' I quickly thought and visualised my plight
Of flushing in the mornings and sweating through the nights
My mood swings will be interesting, my husband will be thrilled
Tp contemplate, on coming home, if he'll be kissed or killed!

And add to this the crying, all due to some neurosis
Not to mention broken bones - from Osteoporosis
Oh, perish, now, the awful thought that I should very soon
Assume the spitting image of a wrinkled-up, old prune

So, I bought some women's magazines and studied their suggestions
For restoring all my youthful bloom and came up with some questions:
Like, "how did all this cellulite attach itdself to me?"
"Why are these anti-ageing creams all failing miserably?"

So, I think I'll get some excercise and try to lose some weight
I do not want a heart attack or stroke to be my fate
"Oh, Stuff the Menopause", I say, it don't appeal to me
I think I'll just get on with it and take some HRT

Sylvia Jones

Yes, I Am A Senior

YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.
I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.

I'm not really grouchy,

I just don't like:

traffic,

waiting,

crowds,

politicians,

unruly kids,

barking dogs,

and a few other things

I can't seem to remember right now.