Marilyn Monroe: Men prefer blonds because blonds know what the preferences of men are!
Jules Renard: To write is like to talk, just without being interrupted
Tim Dedopulos: The difference between a woman and a volcano is that a volcano never simulates its
Joan Rivers: A woman's only possibility to get a real
orgasm is to go shopping!
Bob Hope: You have got really old, when the candles for your birthday
cake are more expensive than the cake!
Groucho Marx: When I came back to my hotel
last night a wonderful "blonde" was lying in my bed. I gave her 24 hours to disappear!
Toksvig: There are two stages, if you are sea sick: First you are afraid of dying. And then you are afraid of NOT dying!
Erma Bombeck: Never visit a doctor who lets his or her green plants die!
Patrick Timsit: To die is good for the poor. It's the only time they try to drive in a Mercedes with a driver in front!
Groucho Marx: I have has a lovely evening. But it wasn't tonight!
Vincent Roca: I prefer a real believer to a false sceptics!
( French comedian): Gos has given the food to the rich people and the appetite to the poor!
Guitry: I sometimes do stupid things just to have the pleasure of telling about them!
Shandling: I once made love for 1 hour and 5 minutes. It was at the moment we shanged to summer time!
Robert Benchley: It has taken me 15 years to find out that I have no talent for writing. But it's too late now, because I am already famous!
George Burns: Actually, I can get drunks by drinking just one glass. I just don't know, if it is the 13th or the 14th!
What would you do, if you were in my shoes? Clean them!
If you play a video about a house on fire backwards the men in the fire brigade do not play a positive role !
'Sorry that I can't take part in your reception. My bad excuse follows by letter!
The week has seven days: Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday, and preMonday!
There are two sorts of people who try to avoid paying taxes: MEN and WOMEN !
The scared tourist asks: Are there any bats in this cave? The guide replis: Yes, there were earlier. But the snakes have eaten them!